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  • Writer's picturePayton Tilley

Am I Melting?

Our minds look to the future. We can desire things. We can dread things. We can hope for things. And still, we can feel so unready to face any of it.

Recently, I have felt like a lot of my prayers have been lost on their way to heaven. And while I know that is not true, it feels as if my soul and heart are...melting? My prayers for the future, my desires, prayers for others, they all seem to hit my heart and drip over my body. Melting, just so, leaving a path of burns and aches. Desires and hesitations. What ifs and could have beens.

Now, if any of that describes you, that is wonderful. Why? Because we will melt together. And more good news? The melting that so describes the aches and worries of life was put into that phrase, a verse, before any of these pains hit me, or you.

Psalm 119:28 (NKJV) ~ "My soul melts from heaviness; Strengthen me according to Your word."

When I read this days ago, I identified so much with the words, I wanted to collapse and melt then and there. God knows my every ache, but He desires I cling to His word. God, hears my every tear stained prayer, and touches me with verses. God remolds my heart anytime it begins to droop with melting hurts of wax.

I am truly writing to myself in every way. It is hard to lean solely on His word when I desire guidance and answers. People or things I yearn for.

But I simply need to cling to the Bible. Will I still drip? Probably, but He will always outhold His strength when I being to melt in anguish once more.

And He will place a candle holder to catch every drop. And eventually, every thing that caused me pain and made me cry out, made me fear and ache, will harden in time, turn to beauty, and smell sweeter than roses. Then, let me melt. Let me be strengthened in the hurt, questions, cries, and longing.

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