In Defense of the Romance Novel

Reasons I love romance books, and why I will never apologize for reading them. (And I am not referring to smut-filled reads.)

There's no doubt in my head that all romance lovers have experienced a similar situation at least once. You are sharing what book you're reading, and someone's nose turns up when you mention a romance novel.

Raise your hand if you have experienced it. All readers of this genre have at least once, I believe.

There is a stigma bad novels & press have used to define this genre of story. People say "romance" and visions of BookTok books and bodice ripper novels come to mind. To be clear, I am NOT defending those. That would be another blog post. I am referring to what is called "sweet", "clean", or "closed-door" romance novels.

But why does that have to be the case?

Why do people look down on a genre that is the highest-grossing of all genres?

Almost every great novel involves a romance in some part.

And they have value . . . .

But it is mostly snubbed by critics (although this is slowly changing) and receives eye rolls from others.

Some people claim it's mindless. Some say they make women (or men) have unrealistic standards. Others claim that you are not learning, but only escaping.

Well, I shall defend this genre till my death. Books are meant as a means of escape and entertainment, but all well-written books of any genre teach us something about the human heart. Books beckon new ideas, make us feel less alone in our struggles, and help us retain empathy. They allow us to look outside our lives and see the world through another lens. They can teach truths in the way only stories can. They help us forget problems at work, but they can also carry profound emotional depth.

While this genre has many benefits, we must be careful not to idealize the relationships, compare ourselves, or allow warped human interactions to cloud our judgment of real life. There must be a balance, as with all things in life.

Below are 5 reasons I read romance, and 5 reasons it is an important genre.

1.) They Highlight the Beauty & (often) Tragedy Of The Human Heart

Many people hate clichés, but they are clichés for a reason. They have elements of things we can see in real-life. People love something a little familiar, but a little different. Romance novels have an amazing way to do this. They make us get excited over the little things again. We watch two characters have their eyes opened further to others, their future, and life around them.

Romance novels make us remember that life can be utterly beautiful, while some can also remind us how fleeting life can be. Every romance book is merely an exploration of how two people react to the beauty they can create together. There can be more laughter, deeper feelings, acts of sacrifice, and quiet moments of beauty we may not pay attention to alone.

2.) Love Stories Intricately Engage Human Cognitive & Emotional Processes

Yes, science can prove that reading (all kinds of fiction) actually engages your brain function in ways other activities cannot.

Humans have mirror neurons located in the brain. These activate when we do something that stimulates our body AND when we observe (or read). They cause our heart to pound when reading, to literally sit on the edge of our seat, and they explain why we can care so deeply about characters we read about.

Why? The mirror neurons make it seem like we are the ones experiencing what we read. They help us connect with the characters.

The benefits of this are extreme. It has been proven over and over again that reading builds empathy. This is because our minds can fully believe (and relate) to the situations and characters we are reading about. We almost get to fully place our mind into the character's shoes and live the plot with them.

From this, readers can also develop a deep awareness of people, cataloging their own emotions and those of others because they have read how any emotion can affect different people. It allows readers to not only develop empathy and emotional intelligence, but it also gives a safe space to do so. It is risk-free for us to analyze habits, mannerisms, hurts, outcomes, feelings, all because we are studying it on a page.

Psychology of Aesthetics, Creativity, and the Arts conducted research and found that those who read romance novels were unusually good at reading facial cues. This allowed them to pick up on emotions others were experiencing better than readers of any other genre.

3.) They Remind Us to Pay Attention In Life

Reading romance has a way of making us care more about the little things in life. There is a danger in romanticizing too much, but there is also a brusqueness & busyness in society that needs to be softened by enjoying the little things - and possibilities.

4.) They Remind Us How Important Connection Is & How Attractive Morals Are

Constantly, I hear, "Your expectations are too high when you read romance novels." My response to that is: it depends on the way you look at it.

Any good thing if taken too much or too far can make you sick. (think about sugar.) And I do think some romance glorifies impossibilities and makes people compare themselves.

But - BIG but - romance novels have the potential to make us aware of who we want to be as a partner. Selfless, encouraging, constant, steady, upright . . . They force us to look within and decide who we want to be in our own story.

Another benefit is that it can make you aware of characteristics to look for AND what not to look for in a partner. Remember the section about romance helping us analyze and develop empathy? Well, reading romance has the potential to help us spot red flags faster. We have read what an unhealthy relationship can look like, which can potentially help us see red-flags faster in real-life. Now, please don't take me to mean that readers have all emotions figured out, their partners, and themselves. That is not what I am saying, but when one reads about human nuances and nature regularly, they can (potentially) develop the ability to analyze reality more clearly.

Back to the core of it, romance novels remind us how sweet and needed human connection is in our lives. Whether it's the best friend encouraging them, or the gentle romantic interest, at its heart, romance has a great way of reminding us we weren't designed to do it alone.

5.) They foster hope

Lastly, romance novels can further remind us that there are good times amidst the dark. Being loved is a gift, and loving is a gift. They can offer us a space to see how things can improve for the better and how love can bloom despite the odds.